Bad Travel Advertisements

DON’T SUE ME!!

I’m sure these designs are made by the most prestigious advertising agencies in the galaxy, won uncountable awards, and made vast fortunes for everyone involved.

But, this is my magazine and this is my opinion. So there!

I enjoy reading travel magazines both for the articles and for the advertisements. These ads help remind me of adventures yet to come. However, sometimes the ads are bewildering to me. Following is a few examples.

Tiffany

The ugly green sign is ugly. The writing on it is nonsense. The gentleman sitting seems upset, or at least uninterested. Perhaps it is because the chair is so uncomfortable. His hair is a mess. The woman standing is holding her arms in an uncomfortable position. She has her left leg in front of her right leg to give the illusion of a more hourglass shape than she has. She, also, seems unhappy.

What the hell does Tiffany & Co. even sell? You sure can’t tell from their advertisement. But, nice use of white space, eh?

The Palm Beaches

Based on this advertisement, The Palm Beaches Florida is a tennis club and colored egg club for drug cartels.

SMILE, PEOPLE! No one will come to your club if you look like that.

Venice Simplon – Orient – Express

The first thing that comes to mind is: Get your fucking drink off my piano or I’ll break your arm. Like, what kind of an asshole does that?

Okay, what’s wrong with his legs. Maybe someone already broke his legs for doing something equally stupid. Why is he wearing an ill-fitting suit? Why does he have such a bad haircut?

As with these other ads, just what the hell are they selling?

Banana Republic

First, why is this photograph tilted? This style of photography was and is crappy, an excuse to hide bad composition.

Next, this woman appears to be an equestrian, based on the (maybe) top of a horse’s head in the background and (maybe) the riding boot she is wearing. But, you wonder, why isn’t she wearing riding breeches? Is she even wearing bottoms?

And, lastly, how is she supporting herself? Why hasn’t she fallen off her stool? There is a lot to not understand here.

Maxx Royal Resorts

This advertisement covered two pages, so it was difficult to scan. In fact, the gentleman’s hand was lost in the center divide of the magazine, so we’ll never know what it was doing.

The Maldives are very far away. It would take you at least 30 hours to get there from Los Angeles, California. The Maldives is an Islamic nation. A woman cannot dress like that in the Maldives unless she is at a resort.

You see the problem, right? Why travel for 30+ hours to go to a place where you must stay in the resort to have fun? Yes, I’ll admit that the woman in yellow is quite fetching (read “doable”), but it still is a very long trip just to have a sexual event. If this is what they are selling, then this is all that they have to sell.